14 December 2011

My Favourite Christmas... by Lucy-Anne Holmes

Welcome back to my Christmas 2011 feature! As you know, I've asked lots of authors to write something about their favourite Christmas, and I've been lucky to have a great response. Today, I have the pleasure of welcoming the lovely Lucy-Anne Holmes!

One of my favourite bits of Christmas, happens every year and never fails to make me giggle. It’s after Christmas dinner when the family is all sitting around the table. We’ve devoured the meal. We’ve fought over the crispiest roast potatoes, the crispiest turkey skin, the crispiest bacon wrapped sausage and we’re all talking again now. We’ve sat in the dark, throwing matches on a brandy soaked Christmas pudding and procured one tiny, fleeting flame.

We’re stuffed. Belts and top buttons are undone and the oceanic whir of the dishwasher is punctuated by the odd belch. We’re currently working our way though the cheeseboard. And one member of my family will always, always say something along the lines of.

            ‘Do you know what I’m going to do next year? I’m going to take up running. Can you push the Lurpack down this end, I’m too full to lean. I might do a half marathon.’

            ‘Oh, yes,’ My father who’s in his 70s with a dodgy leg, will say, looking up from his book about The Dukan Diet. ‘I’ll join you.’

            ‘Let’s all do it!’

            ‘Why not a full marathon?’

            ‘Or what about a triathlon!’

Thus we chatter about the ambitious diet and fitness regimes we plan to implement in the new year, and polish off an entire brie.


My all time, favourite, the number 1, the champagne, the 5 Star, the multiple orgasm, the ‘YES! YES! AND AGAIN PLEASE!’ of festive films has to be Love Actually. Ooo, I adore Love Actually. It’s a perfect festive rom com.

            Billy Mack, Bill Nighy’s hilarious jaded rock star, reworks the lyrics to the song Love is All Around to Christmas Is All Around. And in this film both love and Christmas are indeed all around, by the tinsel adorned bucketlaod.

            All the Christmas staples are here. The school nativity play.

            ‘They gave out the parts for the nativity play today.’

            ‘Oh, and what are you?’

            ‘The lobster.’

            ‘There was a lobster at the birth of Jesus?’

            ‘Yeah. Der.’

A battle for Christmas number one, where straight talking ex heroin addict, Billy Mack, goes head to head with squeaky clean boyband Blue.

            ‘Ask me anything,’ he says, to the DJ at Radio Watford.

            ‘Who’s the best shag you’ve ever had?’

            ‘Brittany Spears.’


            ‘Not really, I was joking….She was rubbish.’

There’s an office party, Christmas shopping, card writing, Christmas lights and snow flurries. And, of course, beautiful love stories, capable of making grown men weep, even my 6 foot 4 friend who’s built like a bungalow and known as Big Dong, blubbed like a baby.

You just can’t beat a man wiping away a tear whilst watching a good rom com. Go on, watch Love Actually, this Christmas.
You can read my review of Lucy-Anne's latest book (Un)Like A Virgin here. You can also buy the book in paperback and in eBook now!

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